absence of ease

with fragments of thought congealing in my head
i worry about the dry scratching in my throat
i'm all covered up indeed i might just add a coat
i feel i'm caught in an aura of deepest purest dread
my mind wanders in and out i cannot catch the thread
of thought my head seems almost to be afloat
yet still attached my wit's worth much less than a groat
i wonder where the pain and fear will spread
not to be sure tonight is being three times afraid
of what i'll learn tomorrow of which hard matters true
i'll have to deal with now it's not a simple deal
to be patient to wait to learn which bloodthirsty blade
has struck me now i wonder oddly at its hue
and what has chosen us this week to be its meal