Reflection.

This year, finally, I've become a really productive scholar. I've got a book review article coming out in Wadabagei, two book chapters forthcoming (even though they've been forthcoming for a while, they were accepted which is, emotionally, the important thing), and, if I live through July I'll have delivered a total of four conference papers this year, and, for all I know, may stumble on the right CfP and produce one (perhaps even two) more. If two of the four conference papers turn into published articles, so much the better. It is as if, after a long, albeit mild, winter, there were a sudden spring.

I wonder if the work I'm doing is truly worthy, but I should put self-doubt aside (as if I could!) and move on to the next project. Right now, that's finishing one of the papers I have to give. I feel torn between euphoria and fear. Happiness that, at last, I'm doing what I'm supposed to do and making use of the skills, the training, and the native intellectual power that are my possessions, and fear that I'm deluding myself, that deep down I'm mediocre and the real experts will see that in nothing flat.